Raising children

The other day, I went to the store buy a new hairdryer.  My husband suggested I take our eldest daughter with me and buy her a small toy.  She had been a good girl lately, and we don’t buy her many toys.  Don’t get me wrong, she has tons and tons of toys, but they are accumulated from generous family and friends at holidays and birthdays, and hand-me-downs from neighbors.  Our house is swimming in toys, but we didn’t have to purchase many of them.  She picks out her prize, a My Little Pony.  She really wanted to get two Littlest Pet Shop toys, but they didn’t have the right ones.  So, she chose one pony, for the cost of two LPS toys.  She was so proud and excited with her new toy, but as we got the car, she said, “I only got one, Mommy, not two.”  My heart sank a little bit.  Here is my middle-class child, who just had a dance recital this weekend and a horseback riding lesson earlier in the day.  Here is my little girl who can want for nothing, not food, clothes, toys, or education, not love or attention or safety.  Here is my privileged, white, blue-eyed, blond-haired, little girl, raised by middle-class, educated parents with steady jobs, and she is sad that she only got one toy at the store.  How do I counteract that type of entitlement?

It’s not her fault--she’s four, and every four year old wants toys.  The sad thing is that many four-year-olds don’t even have shelter, food, clothes, safety or love.  My kid has everything she could wish for, and she wants more.  I told her that other kids might not have many toys, that other kids would be happy with just one My Little Pony, that other kids might not even have food to eat.  She nodded, but I know she didn’t understand.  Honestly, I doubt I even understand.

I want my children to have all the opportunities for a diverse life experience that I can give them.  I want them to be safe, comfortable, and to enjoy their childhood.  I want them to have a good education, to be well-rounded with various activities, to have meaningful life experiences, like travel, museums, concerts, and plays.  I want them to be challenged, to be helpful, to be brave.  And, I want them to realize how extraordinarily lucky they are, to have been born to middle-class parents who can afford this comfortable lifestyle, to have been born to people who identify with the predominant ethnic group and sexual orientation and have reaped the benefits of that privilege.  I want my kids to be aware of their undeserved luck to not live in a war-torn country, to not have to wonder where their next meal will come from, to not have to wish and hope for a warm blanket or a safe home.  I want them to use this comfortable, supportive upbringing to learn to work hard, persevere, be kind and be generous.  I want them to grow up and make the world a better place, where other little kids can be just as safe, healthy, and loved as mine are.  How do I raise them with that kind of awareness?