Thank you, Mom!

       Mothering is complicated, and daughtering (is that a word?) is complicated, too.  The relationship between mother and daughter always toes the line of dependence and independence.  How much do we need each other?  How much do we adore or resent that need?  How many women realize that they grow up to be just like their mothers (at least in some respects)?  How many women are happy about that? 

       I am one of the lucky, lucky ones in the mother department.  I have never once doubted that my mother loves me wholeheartedly, unconditionally.  She allowed us the independence to grow into our own persons, rooted in her high expectations for our character.  I am lucky to have learned much from her and I continue to learn from her every day.  Here are some lessons from Mom:

1. Work hard.  My mom can mow all the yards in the neighborhood, chop her wood (and the neighbors), paint the fence, and clean out the garage, all before noon.  She is an unstoppable force and I can only aspire to her work ethic.
2. Wake up early.  Mom says, “if it isn’t done by 8:00 am, it isn’t worth doing.”  I might amend that to 10:00 am, but I appreciate the “morning person” model she set, when my kids wake up before 6:00 am.
3. Be of service.  When someone asks you to help them and you are capable of the task, take it on with a glad heart.  I have many memories of my mother cooking food, remodeling houses, building swimming pools, lending money, and teaching driving lessons to our neighbors and family.  All of those favors were reciprocated ten-fold within our little community.
4. Commit totally.  I can’t think of a job, project, or favor that my mother undertook that she did not finish.  She puts her heart and soul into everything she does, whether it is painting the garage, splitting wood, or serving on the church leadership team.
5. Keep faith.  Through all the challenges in life, my mother looks quietly to the faith she was grounded in from the beginning.  I am sure her faith was tested, but it seems to have become stronger for the trials.
6. Always show your love.  No matter how angry we might have been in the moment, I never, ever doubted my mother’s love, or that she would be there for me in any crisis.
7. Set limits and insist on responsibility from your children.  I knew the expectations for my behavior and I knew the consequences when I did not follow through.  I hope I can give my children the same clarity and consistency.
8. Keep it real.  We have a family joke about Mom.  When she and my dad were touring an observatory, he was amazed at the science of astronomy.  He read a plaque comparing two things that said, “it would be like the size of an orange in the Grand Canyon.”  Mom says, “What on earth would an orange be doing in the Grand Canyon?”  My mother is quite intelligent enough to understand analogical references, but she has a knack for cutting through the rhetoric to the real deal.  No one can fool her with fancy speeches.

On this Mother’s Day, thank you for all you’ve taught me, Mom!